For the past few days, i have found myself feeling a sense of peace that is hard to come by. I am attributing it to prayer as well as a change in perspective. I have learned that the more I focus on the things my dad will not be here for (weddings, births, etc.), the more sad and dejected I get. However, there are two things, that have helped me shift my focus.
First, I have to think about the things my dad was here for- tennis matches, graduations, getting my first job, football games, teaching me how to drive a stick shift..the list could go on for days! What a blessing to have a dad through all of those things! So many of my "firsts" were with him (and mom too :) and I am unbelievably grateful. Thinking about these positive things is so uplifting! Never has Philippians 4:8 been so clearly understood.
"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things."When i think about such things, my heart is overcome with thankfulness to the Lord for the years I had with Dad instead of filled with anger and bitterness over the years I won't have with him.
Secondly, I think about what my dad is experiencing in Heaven right now. On the Facebook page about my dad, someone posted that even if Dad had the chance to return back to us, he wouldn't. As much as he loved his family, he loved his Lord more. When I first read that, I found myself being a little offended and hurt. Of course, I want to think that my dad would come back to us if he could. Then, I began to realize how true that statement is. The Bible tells us that our love for our families should look like hate compared to how much we love Him (Luke 14:26). Dad had it right. In the past, I have never been very concerned with what Heaven will be like. I always knew that it's going to be better than anything I can imagine and that was enough for me. However, my interest in what Heaven will be like has significantly increased lately.I mean, I want to know what my dad is up to up there! :) One of the tools I am using to study it is a book called "Heaven" by Randy Alcorn. If you have never read it, I recommend it!
One thing I want to make clear before I end today is that I do NOT have it all together. I still have breakdowns and bad days, but I am praying my way through it all. My God isn't going anywhere and I am resting on that promise today!
For His Glory,
Jessica
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