Thankfulness

||Wow, It's been almost 2 months since my last post. It was not intentional to have such a long break between postings but I'm going to try and be more consistent.||

Thanksgiving

Usually, this time of year is one I would have been looking forward to for months but this year, the anticipation is not there. You see, my dad loved Thanksgiving, the trees turning colors and especially when we would have a day of 70 degree weather in the midst of 40 degree days. "That's what I love about the South!" he used to say. While I am excited to be with my family and have a break from school, the past couple of weeks have been harder than normal. Thinking about the hole we will have has been so painful but I am thankful to have such a supportive family to go through this with me. 

In the midst of my sadness, there is still joy and plenty to be thankful for. I am thankful for my sisters, brother, mom, cousins (who are more like additional siblings), a job I love, a house, salvation, the ability to walk and to run and to dance, friends, tennis, etc. I could keep going. The thing is: I don't deserve a single one of these things  (1 Corinthians 15:10) and I certainly didn't deserve to have a dad who loved me unconditionally and sacrificially.  The Lord is gracious to bless me with these things but He can also take any of it away at any moment. Six months ago,I suddenly learned that lesson. I don't understand why all of this has happened but I know that God is Sovereign and he was not taken by surprise by any little bit of it. It was all apart of His Plan to draw more people to Himself. One thing I have learned is that my purpose on this Earth is to bring God glory and to make His name known. For that purpose, He gives and He takes away (Job 1:21).  Even writing that, it is still hard to comes to term with but as I remind myself of that day in and day out, it becomes a bit easier to accept.  

I read a blog the other day by someone who had lost her mother when she was my age. She explains that one thing she learned through it all was that the world doesn't stop. Even though many days I feel overwhelmed and defeated by this great loss, I have to press on and ask the Lord for his help to get through them. One thing that has aided me in my healing is training for a half marathon in the Spring. (oops, now that that is in the open, I guess I can't back out now!) Setting a goal for my future has been therapeutic because it gives me something to focus on. Working towards the half has given me a way to channel my grief. It's hard to put into words so I apologize if that's hard to understand. Though the training will be hard, no doubt, I have full confidence that the Lord will strengthen me and enable me to accomplish it. 

"For this light and momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient but the things that are unseen are eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:17-18 

"But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them -yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me" 1 Corinthians 15:10 

For His Glory,
Jess

*Please keep my family in your prayers this week as we navigate another "first." *